To be the name uttered, but not to have the burden to be

To be the name said, but not heard

To not breathe anymore, to be the thing

To be the thing being breathed

To not be about to die, to be already dead

To not have to disappoint

To not have the burden of being late

Or punctual

To not eat, to not have to eat

To not feel anything

To not be the one whose affect is criticized

To not pick up the fallen over boxes

To be everywhere but the boxes or plates

To not break the plates

To be beyond breaking

To have been broken

To not bear the burden of not being present

To not have to feel the pain of being hurt

To have transferred that pain over

So that hurt is only part of the imagination

And the imagination is everywhere, is every color

To not contain color, to be color

To not make sound, to be sound

To not have language, to echo, to plan language

To be the stream of words

To not be sad for

To not have those to be sad for

To not eat alone

To not fuck those who do not find your corpse attractive

To not fuck

Or stuff

To be ashes and non-placed

Not displaced, but to not be in any place

To enter the ocean on not a whim, but a physical force

Where there is no center

Where there is no safety

There never was

There was never any anger

There was never anything to look at

I never looked at anything

I just went and walked

I tried to love

But love is hopeless

And I have lost all hope, so bleak I am beyond

I am beyond what might be considered low

There is low nor high, space or time, I have

Gone away from that which is uttered

I have not burdened to be spoken of or spoken for

To croak everyday to the livelong bog

I do not speak a thing

I exist

No, no I don’t I never did

And you may have

But I never did

And you may have called out for me

But I was already gone

And I am already there

That which you speak of

I am already spoken for

In a world of light and ashes

They all call my name

They have waited for me

And now I know

I was always

Already there

With them

— “To be the thing”, Dorothea Laskey


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